Eleven......

...That's how many years it's been since Kyle and I married. ELEVEN! Today! How can I possibly be old enough to have been married for 11 years??? A fact that hadn't really been weighing on my mind due to the craziness of this past week, but was rudely brought forward when at 1:32 AM this morning I was awoken by Victoria Principal trying her best to sell me her "Age Braker" miracle cream. Should I chalk that up to yet another night of prenatal insomnia or is it a sign?

Normally an anniversary is such a happy day but today we greet with such mixed emotion. Jill will be laid to rest today. Even that is met with mixed emotion. There is relief that the suffering she has endured for so long is over, and the knowledge that she is resting with God. Then there is such saddness that the girl who we grew up with, the one with the brightest, prettiest red hair, and the voice of an angel, is gone. That there is a little boy who will grow up without his mother, and a mother who will carry on without her daughter. A sister who will not have that sister to call on.

We drove home from the funeral home in complete silence last night. Changed and went to bed in silence as well. Even Carter knew something was different. That we were sad. I think that in addition to Kyle being sad, he was afraid to say anything. Afraid that he might set off another hormonal breakdown. He has been great this past week. He went when I wanted to go. He stayed when I wanted to stay. He listened when I wanted to talk, or cry. He sat there quietly when I didn't.

I have been blessed. Thank you, Kyle, for the best eleven years I could have ever imagined. I look forward to many many more.

Please Pray

Jill passed away around lunch time today. She was surrounded by family and friends and died peacefully in her sleep. Please remember our heartbroken family as we grieve the loss of someone we have all watched fight so hard over the past five years. Jill's greatest wish was to see her son graduate high school. He is 11.

She may not have made it to see that, but during her tremendous fight, she inspired those of us who love her. Please pray for her son as he continues on in his young life without his mother, and pray for those around him that we shower him with love during this time.

Pray for Jill....

....Please remember my cousin, Jill, when you pray. Jill is 30 and has fought breast cancer for the past 5 years. She was taken to the hospital last night and her family called in this morning. Jill has one son, Alec. Jill has fought this disease every step of the way. Her determination is truly an inspiration to us all. Please remember her and her heartbroken family when you pray.




UPDATE: (Sunday night) For those of you who emailed or asked, Jill is still hanging in there. She was actually alert for a little while today and able to talk with family for a while. Thank you so much for your emails, questions, and comments on my blog!

Xcited!

.....because do you know what time it is?

It's time for the 2008 Winter X Games! Woohooo!

I firmly believe, and have for quite some time, that I was born in the wrong generation, and quite possibly the wrong place. Why you ask? Well that is because I love me some X games! There is nothing I'd rather watch on TV than the Flying Tomato soaring over the pipes doing 1080's and listening to his Ipod all the while. I mean, how much cooler could it possibly get?
I am a total x game junkie.

That in itself is strange considering I am a 32 year old woman born and raised in the south where the closest we come to the X games is riding on an old car hood pulled by the fastest ATV you can find during the increasingly rare snows of winter. Now, I'm not knocking a good ride on a car hood in the snow. You. Go. Very. Fast. In fact, you go so fast that you hold on for dear life not for the simple fact that if you fall off you fear it will hurt, but because you know that if you fall off it will kill you. Never mind the fact that your dad is driving and he is in fact the biggest daredevil of them all! (Just now I'm wondering where my mom was during these rides....hmmmm.)

Another thing that makes my X Games fascination so strange is that I am 32. I mean, if you watch those games you're lucky to see anyone in their 20's, it's rare to see anyone mid 20's.....but 30? Never! I can tell you why that is as well. Because once you pass the mid 20's and you fall going 90 mph in the snow.......it hurts. It hurts like you never knew you could hurt.

My family took this family ski trip a few years ago. My husband and I, and most everyone else on the trip, with the exception of my sister, Crystal, and her husband had never been skiing. My husband and I were pumped! I had been water skiing a million times, we both love to knee board and tube in the summer, how much different could snow skiing be?....Let me just tell you. Snow does not give. But oh did we ever have fun! My husband is so fun to do things like this with. He loves going to water parks, and I love going with him because he giggles like a 12 year old girl the whole day! He didn't disappoint during our ski trip.

He would be flying up behind me and I would know instantly it was him because I could hear that giggle a mile away! We skied for 12 or so hours that first day and I fell so many times I lost count. Once I thought I'd killed myself. I honestly saw stars. Turns out, it wasn't stars, it was snow. Packed into every orifice on your face that snow can pack itself into. I knew I was alive when I heard the panicked voice of my sister who'd saw the fall and also thought I'd killed myself. None of us walked pain free the next day......why didn't I learn to do this when I was like, 5?

So, needless to say, you won't soon find me soaring over the pipes on my snowboard, or turning back flips on my snowmobile.....I have conceded that these sports are for those of the younger generation. (GASP! did I really just say that?????) But you will find me glued to ESPN for the next few nights, dreaming of my X Games that wasn't to be.

Sigh.

Never leave home without it!

...without what, you ask? Well, let me tell you, I had one of my most embarrassing moments in a while the other day in Lifeway. Carter and I had been rushing around all morning getting ready to go do some shopping and right before we left I decided to pick up his toys one last time.

Lately he has this fascination with spoons. He eats everything with a spoon, and requires one when he is playing with toys or looking at a book. His favorite spoons to play with are from the silverware set that my grandmother gave me as a wedding present, so whenever I catch him putting one down, I grab it up and either replace it with a less sentimental one, or divert his attention elsewhere. This particular morning I found a spoon lying with his tractors and rather than go through the drama of him seeing me put it up, I stuck it in the back pocket of my jeans and continued on with my cleaning up.

Do you wanna guess when I remembered it? Yeah, in Lifeway. So, let me lay this out for you. I have been in two or three stores, pumped gas, paid for it, stood in line in various places and bent over who knows how many times to pick up various flying objects from Carter's stroller. All the while this large silver serving spoon is sticking out of the pocket of my ample pregnant behind.

Great. Just Great. I immediately began running through the many possible things that would go through my head had I seen someone in the same situation.

"Gee, that lady really doesn't wanna miss a meal, does she?" "Man, she can really fit a lot of pickles and ice cream on that huge spoon!" "Are the spoons at the restaurant/drive thru not big enough for her?" Just to name a few.

I had to laugh. Then quickly shove the massive spoon in my massive bag, which I'm sure anyone watching thought must hold massive amounts of snacks to sustain my massive rear end, and carry on with my day.

Hairplane?....

.....That's what Carter says when you ask him if he wants to go see Dr Jeanie. Hairplane? Dr J's office is directly under the landing path at the Chatt airport, right beside the hospital where Carter was born (which is also under the landing path...that, plus nurses, plus baby...makes for tired sleepy mommy!) So he knows that anytime we visit the Dr, he gets to see lots of airplanes.

Carter loves Dr Jeanie. I do too. We just had our 18 month visit with her in December and I wasn't planning to see her again until the birth of the baby since Carter doesn't have to go back for a well baby visit until age 2, and he has only had one cold in his life which was a few weeks ago. Anyway I wasn't figuring accidents into my plan. Falls in particular.

He falls alot. What baby doesn't. He's learning to jump, running everywhere, climbing all over the place, so naturally he's going to fall. But yesterday he fell just walking across the floor. I don't really even think he tripped over anything. He doesn't usually cry much, but this time he cried and cried! I just thought maybe it hurt his feelings, or embarrassed him even, since his dad and I were watching. Then last night he woke up several times screaming out. I gave him Tylenol but he still cried out a few more times during the night.

This morning he woke up with a swollen foot and a bad limp. He didn't even want to walk on it, if he had to get somewhere and I wasn't there to carry him, he crawled!!! I just knew it was broken. Or maybe he had some deficiency that made his bones weak and it had just gave out. You know, being the Mom of the year and all and not even paying particular attention to the fall, I had all sorts of things running through my mind!

But, after a visit to Dr J and a few xrays later, it is just a bad sprain. Which can hurt as bad as a break!

The nurse that checked him before the doctor came in almost had a bad sprain of her own. Seriously. When she started examining his foot, she looked at it for a minute and said "Oh, I see what the problem is, there is a splinter in the bottom of his foot. Where has he gone barefoot THIS time of year???"

I just looked at her and said, "there may be a splinter on the bottom of his foot, but I doubt that would cause bruising and swelling around his ankle, don't you?" I just love it when someone tries to make you feel like a complete and total moron when you are already beating yourself up for not going to the ER in the first place! Grrrr! I did not, however, unleash my hormonal wrath upon her. Instead, I said a silent prayer requesting calmness and some small measure of politeness to get me through this situation. It worked. Dr. J came in and saved the day.....and quite possibly her nurse! (I'm not sure how many more comments my calmness and politeness would have endured!)

Anyway, Carter is recovering from his splinter/sprain and hopefully will be back to his Rambo self sooner rather than later!...and hopefully, the next time we see Dr Jeanie will be at the birth of Carter's baby sister....(who STILL does not have a name.)

The Man Rules

This was sent to me by my good friend and former pastor's wife, Angela, and I just HAD to post it! It is just too funny not to share!!

The Man Rules

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down



Finally , the guys' side of the story.( I must admit, it's pretty good.) We always hear "the rules" From the female side.



Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules!Please note.. these are all numbered "1 " ON PURPOSE!



1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.We need it up, you need it down.You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work!Strong hints do not work!Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do somethingOr tell us how you want it done. Not both.If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying , but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseballor golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

So, I'm wondering, Angela, was Chris the author of this??....let me know Chris, 'cause I KNOW you read my blog! :)

Campaign Strike...

....wouldn't that be soooo much better than the "writers strike" that has lasted F-O-R-E-V-E-R?! I mean, really....who wouldn't rather be watching the next all new episode of Desperate Housewives or Grey's Anatomy than the lastest visit from Borat..I mean Barak, and Hillary? What do the writers want anyway? Does anybody know? I'll tell you one thing. If I could possibly stand it, when they do come back, and there finally are new episodes, I'd love to boycott them!

Except I can't do that because they left me hanging by a thread wondering how Gabby will react to Carlos' blindness, and what is to become of Merideth and Derek (again), and whether Baily's baby will live or her marriage survive....Ohhhh the suspense!

I think it's a conspiracy. Seriously. The networks are trying to push me over the edge. When I was pregnant with Carter, Katie Couric left the Today Show. Her last day was May 31. I gave birth on June 1. I cried like a baby during her last show. Ohhh how I'd looked forward to spending my maternity leave (which turned out to be permanent) with Katie and Matt! Then they replace her with that woman who tries to be funny and fails miserably. I can't even watch it anymore! To this very day, I remain uninformed every morning as a result of this change. Thank you NBC! Thanks a lot!

And now the writer's strike. (sigh)

I wonder how much HGTV a person can possibly stand to watch?

Nesting 101....

...at least I'm hoping this is my nesting phase, 'cause if I'm not nesting now and I have to do it again in a month or so it just might kill me! Seriously! My husband comes home most days to see a new "project" completed. He's like, "What's up with you?"

First let me tell you that we have lived in our new house for just over 2 years. I found out I was pregnant with Carter 1 week before we moved in and was working more than full time then. Then the whole newborn thing, and really, who wants to decorate when they can barely get a shower? Anyway, the whole time we have lived here there have been many things I wanted to get done and it seems that I have decided that they will be done now. Well, at least most of them.

Right after I took down my Christmas tree I decided I wanted to recover my dining room chairs. All 8 of them. RIGHT THEN! I've had the fabric forever, and so what if its 11:00 PM. Okay, so that's done. The next day I decided that I would make curtains for the big window in my kitchen. I've had that fabric for a while too. Those only take a few hours to make, then I have to cut the wood for the cornice boards (which I have also had for ages), assemble them and wait for my husband to get home from work to help me hang them. ( I am not hormonal enough to tackle climbing a ladder with a curious toddler nearby and a prego belly and a cornice board, and a drill.....at least not yet!) So, during the hours I have to kill before he gets home, I clean out his closet and the closet in the kitchen.

He is so astonished at my accomplishments for the day, and the fact that he has hot, homemade food to eat I don't hear one single complaint about being his being forced to climb a ladder to hang my masterpiece after working a 14 hour day!

Then, this past Saturday we had a birthday party for my father in law. He doesn't get to see his brothers during Christmas so we made an extended family thing out of it. Not a lot of work, really. We did chili, hot dogs, assorted finger foods and desserts (my sister in law, Tammy, brought two of THE best cakes I have ever tasted BTW!...oh yeah, you better believe I sampled both!)

Anyway, add to all that the toddler chasing, normal cleaning and overall basic living, and I could barely get out of bed Sunday morning. My baby girl likes hanging out against my sciatic nerve apparently. Then, during church the nausea hit me like a truck. I knew I couldn't get up and leave without Carter having a fit, so I had to decide whether I could make it to the bathroom carrying him without hurling or fainting. I did make it.

Again Monday morning I could barely get out of bed. Thankfully though my regular OB appointment was at 8:30 and I could find out what in the world was going on. My doctor does a sonogram at every visit and knows me well enough to know that I want that done first, then after we see that the baby is okay we can talk about everything else. When I told him what was going on, he asked if I'd been on my feet more than usual....ummmm, welllll,...yes.

He reminded me of the month I spent on bedrest before Carter was born. (well, at least he thought I was on bedrest, he said "stay off your feet" I thought that meant "stop working and sit at the pond fishing with your feet propped up" It wasn't until my 2 week post delivery checkup that he ever said the word "bedrest"....oops! Anyway, I have to slow down with my nesting, and see how it goes over the next few weeks.

The good news is that I only gained a couple of pounds last month (which is a complete miracle considering how many functions we went to and how much I ate!) AND! at my next appt I will be 30 weeks and will get to have a 4D ultrasound! I'm really excited about that! Carter looked exactly like the 4D! He still makes some of the same expressions we saw on the ultrasound! I'm hoping that IF we still don't have a name at that point, and IF she lets us see her face, that will help us along in the naming process!


...........MAYBE!!

As IF....

....I needed MORE pressure!! This article jumped out at me from the CNN homepage first thing this morning. January 3, 2008. What a way to start off the new year!!

I have looked through 2 baby name books. One has 50,001 names the other has 100,001, and I have a list of 10. TEN! None of which my husband agrees to. I feel a serious hormonal breakdown coming on. Really! If he spouts off one more hideous name while trying to be funny, he WILL get hurt!

Also, you know on that movie, Mean Girls, where the really mean "queen bee" finds out she's been eating weight gain bars instead of weight loss bars? Remember that awful scream she let out in that movie?....Remember? It lasted about 5 minutes. Well, I seriously almost did that tonight. The scream, I mean. I won't elaborate other than to tell you the situation involved my mother in law and my raging hormones. Please say a prayer. It's not over yet.

Okay. I think I've vented enough. Happy New Year.