Two Diet Cokes, a dash of black paint,

....and a bottle of the nastiest brightest pinkest fingernail polish you can imagine. Those, my friends, have been just a few of my son's weapons of choice this week. And, by this week, I mean starting SUNDAY. This is TUESDAY.

I should have known I was in for it when he came running into the bathroom while I was getting ready for church on Sunday morning. He said, " Mama, mess!" I said, " Carter, did you make a mess?" He shook his head vigorously and said. "Daddy, Coke." He was being pretty specific so I decided I'd better check it out. He ran into our bedroom and climbed onto the bed and pointed to an empty Diet Coke can turned upside down, in a puddle, right smack in the middle of our bed. Great! So, I strip the bed, clean the mattress and carry on getting ready.

He was good during church..........mostly.

Sunday afternoon while we watched them put up the sign, Carter was facinated with all the bulldozers and backhoes and trucks in the area so he was pretty well occupied. ........mostly. He did however, manage to get black paint in his hair, on his scalp ( I just scraped the last of it off tonight!) and all over his hands while we had our backs turned for a moment.....

Monday night I was finishing up my bedtime routine and I thought Carter was watching tv with his dad when he came running into the bathroom. He said, "Mama, mess." (you better believe I'm passing the buck, do you know how many times a day I hear those words?) I said, "go tell Daddy" and carried on with what I was doing. He came back in a minute. More urgently this time, "Mama, Mess!" I followed him into the bedroom to find his dad sound asleep and ANOTHER big puddle on the bed. Carter said, "Daddy Coke" I'm 'bout to get ahold of daddy and his stinkin cokes he leaves within Carter's reach! So, it's 8:30-9ish and because I have no idea where our extra sheets are or how long since they have been washed, I strip the bed, wash and dry the sheets, and clean the mattress.................AGAIN!


This morning I was brushing my teeth and putting in my contacts in the bathroom...(I'm going to quit going to the bathroom!) when I smelled a funny smell. Carter was in the living room watching Diego but I hadn't heard him in a few minutes so I head out in search of the smell. He was hiding behind the couch with a bottle of pepto pink fingernail polish.......open! It was all over his hands, his pj's, some on the rug, some on the hardwood, some on the chair. I almost fainted. I think the fear of seeing pepto pink all over my house is the single thing that kept me upright at that moment. Thankfully, it all came out. I have no idea where he got that polish, I hope he doesn't have a stash of it somewhere!

I will spare you all the nasty details of our trip to the grocery store and how he stripped down while in there. By this time, I was so exhausted, I think I have blocked most of that experience out...... but I will tell you that at some point after lunch today I noticed I had something stuck between my two front teeth and I meant to go get it out....I remembered it on the way OUT of the grocery store....fabulous! Just fabulous!

If tomorrow starts off like the last couple of days have, I'm taking Carter to his Maw Maws to spend the day (it's supposed to be rainy and cold and we'll be trapped inside)..........please don't call to warn her!




p.s....reading back over this I would just like to clarify that we do watch our child.......mostly!