You have got to be kidding me!!!!

.......that's what I said to my husband when he woke me up from my late afternoon Easter nap with my sick little boy. Was he kidding? No! Let me take you back a few months for some background.

We have a farm. We have 5 poultry houses and about 75 cows. Now, anyone who has been around poultry houses knows that there is litter involved when you clean out the houses between flocks. And when you have 5 houses that's a lot of.......litter! And to spread this litter you need a spreader truck. Here is where the fun begins.

We bought this stupid God forsaken spreader truck about a year ago. Well, I say it's God forsaken, but that's not true, with the luck we've had with that darn truck, God must be in it or it would have blown up (Mcguyver style) by now! Anyway, this truck ran for exactly 2 days after we bought it. And since then, we have had several people work on it, the people we bought it from gave us a portion of what we paid for it back, thought we had it fixed but did not,......... many many very frustrating moments out of this truck.

This last guy that was supposed to be the best around has taken at least 3 months of our lives trying to fix it. Then told us he had it running and my husband paid him. $1000.00. He did not have the truck running (why my husband believed him and wrote that check, I'll never understand but he is the trusting type) Then the guy dissappeared, we could not get in touch with him for several days. So, me being the non-trusting type, stopped payment on the check. This was February 19 to be exact. The day my sweet nephew was born. Anyway, this past Saturday the guy calls threatning us and telling us what he is going to do if we don't release the hold on the check, (which we are totally in the right by doing, I have already checked on that from a legal stand point) My sweet husband nicely tells him that all he has to do is get the truck running and we will absolutely release it. Guess what redneck truck mechanic does???

He steals the truck! Genius right? My poor husband is hysterical looking through our desk for VIN numbers and insurance papers, when his "look on the bright side wife" says, "Good, I hope they never find the stupid thing, that truck has been nothing but problems right from the beginning." He just stares blankly at me..........Well!

Anyway, after a few short hours of bliss thinking this burden had been lifted from our pocketbooks, the police call to say they have found it at a local crack house. (I didn't know we had crack houses around here, but apparrently we do, and furthermore, if the police know about it, why is it STILL a crack house?????) and our good quality "best around here" crack house dwelling mechanic is in jail. So I spent my day yesterday running around getting police reports and insurance claims and all KINDS of fun stuff! I must say there is one truly funny part of this story. That big dummy had to get the truck running to steal it!!


I feel that Jeff Foxworthy could base his next tour on jokes from this experience......you might be a redneck if.......Endless possibilities!!...Or maybe Worlds Dumbest Criminals????